Great couples appreciate that a relationship is a journey, not a sprint. Great couples think about and work towards creating an enduring relationship. They invest in the future while being aware of the need to build their relationship for today.
A relationship is way more than two folk just living together and raising kids. It’s also a partnership for achieving, individual, couple, family as well as societal purposes. The worth that a marriage creates should be measured not only in terms of the children that are produced, but also in terms of how a marital relationship sustains the conditions that allow for everyone to flourish in their respective careers and life-goal
In great partnerships, each person’s outlook to life is aligned with the other, instead of one being subordinate to the other. These alignments are not exactly the same. Rather, they are complementary, acting in a way that is supportive and inspiring to each other achieving their goals in life whilst realizing one’s own goals.
An important ability that all great couples develop is”metacognition” – this is the mind’s capability to think about one’s own thinking, it’s a methodology of self-examination. Here, one reflects and observes how you solve a difficulty, which necessitates thinking about one’s emotions and behavior.
How can you improve yourself so that your relationship is great? Ask yourself these top five (5) vital questions to follow the route to success thru self examination.
- How well am I doing in this marriage?
- Am I doing enough to make certain that my partner feels that they are important to me?
- Am I living a meaningful and purposeful life?
- Does every person in my family feel loved?
- How can I do things better?
Why are these questions so important? Lets have a look at what successful couples do…
Great couples fall in together and work inter-connectedly, whilst remaining somewhat independent. They are flexible and allow for openness and freedom of choice while maintaining responsibility. Great couples become adaptable and resistant to life’s challenges. They persist at developing the abilities needed to maintain a life long relationship.
Flexibility, adaptability and resiliency are three relationship sustaining capabilities that great couples learn. These qualities are needed to revise plans that do not work, to get over making mistakes, they are essential for effective problem solving and considering the possibility of a range of solutions. They also are required when new information is presented or conditions change. These skills are both a thinking and a doing capability.
The skillful effort that these couples bring to the marriage make it possible for each to become involved in a meaningful life where they gain physical, psychological and emotional balance and thus flourish as individuals and as a couple.
Marriage is a natural part of society, and like government and religion, marriage has been one of society’s pillars as far back as history takes us. The long standing view of marriage nevertheless no longer captures the way great couples live together or how they think, converse and act their way to a successful relationship in life today.
It is time that beliefs and concepts about marriage and relationships caught up with the way great couples operate and how they view themselves, both individually and together, in life. With the right approach and focused effort, you too will have relationship success.
Chris Dawson is a highly qualified marriage counselling expert, helping couples resolve relationship issues. His extensive experience, of over 25 years , is highly sort after across the world in his position as Clinical Director for Humaneed, a leading Service for Relationship Counselling Melbourne, Australia